For me, it's not so much a matter of 'who to believe', rather 'who is accountable' for the consequences. If there is still any warranty on this car then it is that entity that I would be guided by. That said, pulling the car apart as the first point of call is ridiculous. Id drain the oil first which I'm sure any of them would do so see if it just flushes out. What Ford would be concerned with is doing so would not guarantee that all foreign particles would be removed. As the original manufacture, they can not risk giving you advice that still may lead to engine damage, even if its years down the track.
If this were my car, I would want to know all foreign particles are completely out. I would be going to Ford directly and arguing the dipstick was not fit for purpose ( I have not personally seen one BTW) and its premature wear has led to this situation. As a result, I would be seeking a reasonable contribution to the cost of remediation. I would resist the temptation to ask them to pay for everything given the age of the vehicle unless its under warranty.
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